Taking the train to Tanty Town......

Ok so I have done this mother thing before so number 4 should be a walk in the park right???? Right????? Well you would think so wouldnt you, so why is this child sucking the absolute life out of me........My darling little blonde haired, blue eyed cherub with the face of an angel has gone to the dark side.  Laicee Lou with her gorgeous little "winkie" face has discovered the power of ....dum dum dummmmm......"The Tantrum".   Of course I am sure the other 3 had their time in the sun as far as the tantrum goes but I honestly cannot remember it being with such passion, such gusto, such determination.  Now I am wondering is it because she is the baby and is constantly being picked up and doted upon by all and sundry......probably but that doesnt help my cause now does it the damage is done.  She isnt silly though for all my complaining about how awful it is and boo hoo woe is me she cries and carries on morning noon and especially night, I take her to a family do all the aunties and my mum etc, I think ok now they will see, vindication will be mine......... the little traitor is a complete angel, happy, cute, engaging, smiling, sits on aunty's lap and falls quietly asleep with no fuss.   Where is the foaming at the mouth, where is the "crolling" or the "rofc" (Translation: crying and rolling or rolling on floor crying pffft teenagers abbreviate everything, I have one and a half teenagers too but that is a story for another day),  
where is the 3000 decibel scream, the Linda Blair thrashing and the grand finale.....the vomit.
Of course amongst the clucking of "oh my isnt she just the cutest little darling" and the "She is such a good baby" it may have been my eyes or the Browns Brothers that I had but I could of almost sworn she smirked at that point. So of course no one but those that have lived it believe me. 

My friend and I took the kids on a few outings in the last week of the holidays more I think for our own sanity then for their entertainment.  First outing was lunch at Maccas let the kids have a play, consume some grease everybody's happy.....this was the scene for the first public tanty.....it was an exceptionally hot day all the older kids were hyped up on the fact they were out of the house mix that with a shitload of sugar and preservatives and you have a pot full of popping popcorn.  Bub was happy to watch from the window to scream with delight when the others smushed their faces up against the glass to say hello to her, then she discovered there was a door to this magical land that she wanted to go through and of course it was deemed too dangerous for a 3ft little princess that has not long had her sea legs so access was denied.

Well I am sure Mc Donalds staff have seen all sorts of carrys on being a 24hr munchiehut 100m down the road from the local pub but the sight of this beautiful little girl with her ringlets and her bows, arching and scratching and trying to bite any exposed flesh on her mothers body was even for them a little traumatic (free counselling has been offered I believe).  Needless to say that playtime was over from that point and the disturbance was removed from the premises.

Day 2:  It was a magnificent day so my friend and I decide to take the kids to the new Broadwater Rock Pools (Awesome place by the way.......AWESOME) it was wonderful, we had lunch by the water the kids were all having an absolute ball, Laicee was getting amongst it with the best of them, lots of little ones splashing swimming just having a fantastic time.  I decided in my infinite wisdom that I should probably put some more sunscreen on bub being the responsible mother that I am, that all went well I had the easy to use roll on rubbed it on bubba held the sunscreen for me and ever so cutely said Ta every time I took it to put some more on.....it was a scene out of a Perfect Mothering Magazine......until I put the lid on the sunscreen then it turned into something out of a Steven King novel.  OMG I tried giving it back to her......Nope the switch had been flipped my friends it was "Game On"  she wouldnt let me hold her so I put her down in a spot she wasnt going to drown, she rolled, she screamed, she arched if I went near her it made her worse so I just sat down on the side and let it happen, now this is a new water pool area for children on the Gold Coast in the school holidays soooooooooo there were a few people there, I got the "Oh honey I know how you feel looks" from the other mothers of little people, I got the "She needs a good whack on the beeehind" from some of the old school Grandmas but my favourite look was from a young  Maori fellow big strapping lad playing with his niece and nephew,  it was a look of sheer horror, (I think the vasectomy was probably  booked that afternoon) luckily we had planned to leave soon anyway.

Day 3 My darling friend who by the way remains completely calm and supportive whilst all these very public tantys are going on truth be know she is probably just relieved it isnt one of her kids having a public meltdown, invites us to Lollipops playland (another awesome place) ok so she is a glutton for punishment I will play along, we had a ball, huge slides, jumping castles who wouldnt have fun, they had a special area for the little ones it was great.  There is a beautiful merry go round in the middle of the establishment that they put on once an hour or something anyway they ring the bell we all go over I hesitated putting Laicee in but Jemma insisted she would look after her so ok and OMG the cutest thing you have ever seen all the kids in the big pink dragon was waving away just gorgeous............the thing about these rides is they eventually stop........Bubba wanted to ride the big pink dragon for the rest of the day and she was not the least bit impressed when she had to get off and the gate was locked and the big pink dragon was no more.  Now the great thing about Lollipops is that everything is padded and I mean everything so I just put her in the littlies section and let her go for it and as she was safe I thought I would tape it with my phone for evidence the place wasnt very busy it was the end of the day but there was a father with his small son in there and he was totally doting on him obviously his first child I think you start to lose interest after that (oops did I say that out loud...jokes jokes dont call CPA on me) anyway I was oblivious to him and was taping my daughters latest performance, she had added a couple of foot stamps and floor punching moves into the mix which I was eager to capture, I look up and am met with a look of absolute disgust and OMG how can you be so cruel to your child.  He was met with a "Say something I dare you look" so he scooped up his precious cargo before he could be scarred by this goings on and stormed out.   Needless to say I did stop taping and attempted to calm her down whilst holding back the giggles hehehehehehe. Luckily it was closing time anyway.

I did get some good advice from a mum of 4 now grown boys that when she starts to tanty stand there and applaud her performance I am looking forward to trying that...Thanks Belinda.

I am not sure what has triggered this new found hobby of hers but I am just hanging on and waiting for the ride to stop......we are hurtling along to the terrible twos (8 months away mind you) at incredible speed I just hope this isnt just her warm up and the real performances are yet to come.  I am hoping I will get my happy little cherub back soon, I am thinking of investing in one of those velcro suits for her and a sticky wall so I can just put her there when she goes to Tanty Town and she can go nuts lol and maybe a furry wall for me mmmmmm.

I will get through this phase of number 4 just like I did for the other 3 even though my memories of them as babies is all sunshine and lollipops I think your subconscious does that to protect itself, I think it has to when you think about it otherwise there would be a lot of one child families out there..........I think I hear the train pulling into Tanty Town station as we speak........ wonder what it is now........Jemma looked at her, the drink bottle is empty, the bird flew away, someone wouldnt let her play with the steak knives again????   Sigh I think I can I think I can I think I can..................