Susie Homemaker

 Now I have never claimed to be Susie Homemaker in fact I professed vehemently to my husband to be that I was not that kind of girl...the cleaning kind not the other"that kind" hehehhe


God help me I can cook most things I have managed not to poison anyone in my 20 odd years of cooking but no matter how hard I try I can not master cooking rice.


I have tried the Gentle Boil method, I have tried the Absorbsion Method I even went out and bought a damn rice cooker I even stuff that up.  I just cannot cook rice I admit it.


I decided today that I was going to master this so I very carefully followed every direction on the packaging, I even did a job interview over the phone whilst maintaining vigilance over the gently boiling rice...all was looking great....baby woke up I set the timer and thought ok I can go get baby and be back in time to make sure rice is ok.........Baby had massive stinky bum which required a major clean up crew especially since lately as soon as nappy is taken off said baby she decides to scratch her bum any other day I would say "Go for it honey scratch away" but today's nappy had me screaming Nooooooooooooo when both hands reached for poo laden butt cheeks.  My attention understandably was not on my gently boiling rice, soooooo once hands and butt cheeks had been cleaned of poo I turned my attention back to the gently boiling starchy goodness only to find alas a gluggy overcooked mess.


Its still good I tell myself its still good as I lay out a teatowel on the bench in a weak effort to save some kind of ricey goodness and proceed to spread said glug on to dry out........EPIC FAIL....... I  still spoon glug into wok to make fried Glug I mean Fried Rice for my family.......sigh.  Ok so I cant put a rice soaked teatowel in the washing machine so I take it outside to remove some of the rice......I give it a little shake and the rice falls gently on the grass...I get impatient and give the teatowel a big flick......again EPIC FAIL I look like I have really bad dandruff or it is snowing gluggy rice, it is in my hair, down my shirt, on the dog......I seriously give up at this stage.....Whats that pizza joints number??????

Now my darling husband is in between projects at the moment, he is in the construction industry which has taken a few knocks in the last couple of years, and with the floods it has put him back a few months, he has a project due to start very soon but for now he is at home "helping" me.  Now dont get me wrong it has been great spending the time with him blah blah blah, but the problem is he is showing me up in the housework department.  Now I dont know whether it is because he is "fresh meat" and doesnt do it day, after day, after day, after day, after day and well you get the picture.   He can have the entire house clean and tidy, beds made, kitchen sparkling and all done in an hour......See Babe it only takes an hour a day to keep the place nice and clean......WTF???  Hang on he doesnt have a toddler hanging off his leg....he doesnt have to check Facebook......he doesnt have to put washing on......he doesnt have to check Facebook......he doesnt have to fold washing.....he doesnt have to check emails.....he doesnt have to iron the uniforms.......he doesnt have to check Facebook......Damn Facebook!!!!  So today he is preparing for the new job starting next week there is sawing and the sound of the nail gun etc etc outside in the sweltering heat,  he comes in I am checking Facebook........his eyes scan the room...what you up to babe???...nothin just checkin emails before I get started......hmmmmm he says....Damn Damn Damn put baby to bed and set off to my jobs.....30 minutes later all is done.....Hate it when he is right no excuse for a messy house now I guess.........Now whats happening on Facebook????


PS: I think I got the job!!